.Publisher's Note: The observing is the text of a character coming from Expedition 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reviewing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't composed very much regarding specifics of this objective in the course of the month I have actually been actually here, mostly for pair of factors: the first being that there has been incredibly little opportunity to carry out that type of creating, as well as secondly because I am actually uncertain how relaxed I am actually discussing ideas I show family and friends with the rest of the world.Well, certainly the globe transformed today. What I point out or even do is actually extremely small reviewed to the significance of what happened to our nation today when it was assaulted by ... through whom? Revolutionaries is all we know, I suspect. Tough to recognize at whom to direct our anger and also anxiety ...I had only completed a lot of duties today, one of the most lengthy being the physical examinations of all crew participants. In a private talk adhering to that, the air travel cosmetic surgeon informed me they were possessing a very poor time on the ground. I had no concept ...He defined the condition to me as finest he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was thrown for a loop, after that frightened. My 1st idea was that this had not been a true talk, that I was still paying attention to among my Tom Clancy strips. It just didn't appear achievable on this incrustation in our nation. I could not even visualize the details, also prior to the information of more devastation started coming in.Vladimir dropped in fairly swiftly, picking up that something extremely serious was being discussed. I swung Michael into the component too. They were also surprised and stunned. After our company authorized off, I attempted to detail to Vladimir and Michael as greatest I might the potential immensity of this particular act of fear in downtown New york as well as at the Government. They clearly comprehended and also were actually quite considerate.I glanced at the Globe Map on the pc to observe where over the planet we were actually as well as noticed that our experts were happening southeast away from Canada as well as will be actually skipping New England in a few moments. I zoomed around the station till I discovered a home window that will give me a viewpoint of NYC as well as grabbed the closest video camera. It happened to be a camera, and I was appearing south coming from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes appeared to possess a strange flower to it at the bottom of the column that was streaming south of the metropolitan area. After checking out among the newspaper article our team just got, I feel our experts were looking at NY around the moment of, or not long after, the crash of the second tower. Exactly how awful ...I panned the camera during the East Shore to the south to find if I can view any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet absolutely nothing showed up.It was fairly complicated to deal with job afterwards, though our company had some to accomplish, but on the upcoming track our team moved across the US additional south. All 3 people were actually operating 1 or 2 cameras to make an effort to obtain perspectives of The big apple or even Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, yet no particular source may be found. It all appeared awesome coming from two to three hundred miles away. I can not imagine the heartbreaking settings on the ground.Aside from the emotional influence of our country being tackled and lots of our people as well as maybe some pals being actually killed, the best difficult emotion being where I am actually is just one of isolation.Upcoming day ... I presume the tiredness as well as psychological strain obtained the best of me. I could not remain awake and remain to compose. Today was still complicated, but our team started obtaining more details, plus we had the respect of speaking directly with the Center Director, Roy Estess, that assured our team that the ground teams would certainly remain to work and ensure our security, and also the safe operation of the Station. Our experts also learnt through our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, that included that the partners in the System are all totally devoted to continuing secure functions as well as help. These were actually never ever inquiries for me. I recognize all these folks! The ground teams have been actually very supportive, really understanding of the influence of the headlines, and also have made an effort to be as valuable as feasible. They have all been actually incredibly specialist as well as concentrated though I can not envision the distraction of this type of headlines can be found in as well as the thought that government buildings might be at risk. They never ever skipped a beat, also when transferring nerve center. And a team of senior employees and good friends offered our team a pretty comprehensive briefing on what was understood and what was actually being actually done in the federal government and at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was extremely helpful and kind of all of them to perform in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has actually also been actually encouraging and useful, trying to uplink newspaper article when our own possessions were inoperable, and claiming kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been actually terrific, also. They know it's been actually a hard day for me and the people on the ground, and they have actually attempted to become as also keeled and practical as possible. Michael also corrected me my preferred Borscht soup for supper. And also they provide me lots of area to assume when I needed it. They are actually incredibly compassionate and also certainly shocked at whoever would certainly do this.I know a lot of people in Washington, plenty of people that travel to DC and also New York City, numerous who are flies, that I really felt sure I will receive at the very least a few parts of bad news over the upcoming couple of days. I received the very first one today when I learned that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that hit the Government was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I met Chic in the course of cadet summer season when our experts were in the D&B together, and also our company possessed bunches of courses all together. I can't visualize what he must of looked at, and currently I hear that he may possess risen better than our experts may also think about by potentially preventing his airplane coming from being the one to tackle the White Residence. What an awful loss, but I make certain Chic was actually battling fearlessly throughout. As well as splits do not circulate the same in space ...It's hard to describe exactly how it feels to be the only American fully off the world at once like this. The sensation that I must be there along with each one of you, taking care of this, helping in some way, is actually difficult. I understand that our experts perform the threshold (or even beyond) of a terrible switch in the past of the planet. Numerous things will definitely certainly never be the same again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not just for the thousands and lots of people directly had an effect on by these horrible acts of violence, yet perhaps for everyone. Our experts are going to discover ourselves experiencing differently about dozens of traits, featuring perhaps area expedition, however.It is actually horrendous to see smoke pouring from cuts in your very own country from such an awesome vantage point. The duality of getting on a space capsule committed to strengthening daily life on the planet and enjoying life being actually destroyed by such unforced, awful actions is jolting to the psyche, despite that you are. And also the knowledge that every thing are going to be different than when we launched due to the time our experts land is a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and in our management that our experts are going to perform whatever achievable to much better safeguard her as well as our loved ones, and to take justice wherefore has actually been carried out. I possess peace of mind that the great individuals at NASA will definitely perform everything required to proceed our objective carefully and also return our company carefully at the right time. And also I overlook all of you very much. I can not exist along with you personally, and our company possess a long way to go to accomplish our purpose, however be actually certain that my heart is with you, as well as understand you reside in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the last letter ... Luckily, it's been actually an occupied week up listed here. And also to verify that, like our country, our team are actually advancing our planned pathway with service as usual (as high as possible). Tonight the current enhancement to the place, the Russian Docking Area will certainly be actually released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US opportunity), it is going to dock with our company, at a port never made use of just before on the nadir side of the Solution Element. This new component is going to provide us an additional spot to dock a Progress or Soyuz and will certainly offer a huge airlock along with 2 useable hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which our team will certainly do a few of just before our team return.The problem just before in taking care of recently was too little information. The concern today is too much. It arrived all at once when e-mail was actually restored, and there is actually insufficient time to read everything! Plus it's too difficult to take care of all of it instantly. Yet I value receiving it, as well as I definitely enjoy the wonderful letters of support and also companionship I am receiving.Our company are succeeding aboard, obtaining our work carried out, as well as discussing traits. Final night our team possessed a long discussion over dinner about the implication of these activities, the achievable actions to follow, as well as what must be carried out. After supper, Michael challenged telling me that every email he got from friends in Russia stated exclusively to tell me just how sorry they were actually that this occurred, stretching their condolences, and inquiring just how I was carrying out. Vladimir taught me the Russian term for "condolences" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Area. (Both the Russian and also the English words are actually a lot very long to pronounce effortlessly.) Incredibly types individuals.For the last pair of times, the Russian MCC has sufficed to broadcast live programs of radio updates concerning the activity and also linked tales, to make certain I was actually effectively notified. Every professional who has actually come on free throw line to review an operation or a complication has at some point prolonged hellos to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that because of the big day of remembrance in the United States, throughout the day folks had been taking blossoms as well as edging all the walls of the US embassy in Moscow, and this evening they were actually lighting candles in the street outside the consulate. How the globe has changed.People just about everywhere seem to identify the senselessness as well as horror within this attack. And the tremendous reduction. Moscow has managed these kind of issues in the final handful of years with flat as well as train bombings, so they are actually as anxious to get rid of this hazard as we are. But the bottom series is actually that there are actually great individuals everywhere that desire to reside in peace. I go through that a youngster asked, "United States is therefore really good to various other nations, our team consistently aid everybody, just how can they despise our team so much?".I wish the example of cooperation and also rely on that this space probe plus all the people in the plan demonstrate daily will one day encourage the rest of the planet to work the same way. They must!Sadly, our experts won't be actually piloting over the US while people are igniting candles. Do not understand if we might find that in any case. Our company did, however, find an incredibly uncommon and stunning attraction a few mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our company were actually surpassing it and also it came into view concerning 3 minutes after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sun attacked our station, so it was actually still at night. It appeared like a sizable comet along with a directly, wide rear silhouetted against the dark earth below. Despite some negative lighting fixtures for some time as the sunlight reached our home window at a reduced position, I handled some video of it as to begin with our team passed the spacecraft, and after that enjoyed it begin to mesmerize as it acquired elevation and rate. I shot up until principal motor deadline and also enhancer splitting up took place just as our experts came close to daybreak on the Mountain ranges. A remarkable sight in an unforgettable full week ...Life takes place, even in space. Our company're right here to stay ... Frank.